Monday, March 02, 2009

17-Year-Old Insomniac

Pretty simple: iTunes on shuffle, don't cheat, list, tag your friends, have a good laugh.

1. Opening Credits:
Bryn - Vampire Weekend
[This has the right sound for an upbeat opening credits-type song]

2. Waking Up:
Rockist Part 1 - School of Language
[This one's just weird, though]

3. First Day of School:
Lloyd, I'm Ready To Be Heartbroken - Camera Obscura
[Once again, this has the right sound (obliviously optimistic music, exhausted lyrics) for this]

4. Falling In Love:
RoboCop - Kanye West
[I'ma fall in love with a cyborg, y'all]

5. Arguing:
Moonshiner - Bob Dylan
["When the bottle gets empty, it sure ain't worth a damn." This would probably be better for the next one, but it works here too, I guess.]

6. Breaking-Up:
Long and Lazy River - Nellie McKay
[Doesn't work at all. I could never break up over the sound of a happily plinking piano]

7. Prom:
New Disaster - Elliott Smith
["Everyone is the same in this long, no-win game." Pretty solid]

8. Life:
Dinner Bells - Wolf Parade
[Well, I like to think my life isn't this dirge-y]

9. Boring Job:
Rusted Silhouette - Drake Bell
[Oh, um. This is embarrassing. Moving along...]

10. Mental Breakdown:
Magpie - The Mountain Goats
[This one fits nicely]

11. Driving:
This Time - The Dimes
[So does this one. It's even about traveling.]

12. Flashback:
Lake Somerset - Deerhunter
[A very angry, techno flashback]

13. Getting Back Together:
Lover's Spit - Broken Social Scene
[I get it]

14. Wedding:
Santa Clause Is Coming to Town - Mason Jennings
[Yes. The possibility of me getting married is about as real as Santa]

15. Birth of First Child:
What Difference Does It Make? - The Smiths
[OUCH, iTunes]

16. Final Battle:
Rock-A-Bye-Baby - Traditional
[HAHAHAHAHAHA. Wait, why is this on my iTunes?]

17. Death:
Salina - The Avett Brothers
[Eh, it works]

18. Funeral:
Sissyneck - Beck
[Please don't]

19. End Credits:
Don't You Worry - Jim Noir

Friday, February 20, 2009

Wanna hear some high school melodrama? I swear to god, sometimes I feel like I'm on a fucking TV show.

I was best friends with this girl, M, until sophomore year when she felt that I was getting more attention than she was, and she decided to tell everyone I'm a fake, ugly lesbian. Of course, everyone believed her and threw me under a bus. Fair enough. She has since spent the last two years making my life a living hell for absolutely no reason, and did essentially everything in her power to make me an outcast. Since she's known for being a compulsive liar, nobody really believed her and I got through it mostly unscathed. Until this year. Apparently she is "entirely different" and is now friends with the people who have spent the last three years criticizing her, the people I heard her cry about so many times in our first two years of high school. So, okay, people like her now. That's fine. Except she's not content with "live and let live"ing. God, no. She has to continue this pathetic vendetta against me until even this year. And now we are getting to the actual point of my story:

Last Saturday, Valentines' Day (as it were), I went to a party and got trashed. While I was sitting in the hallway, this very cute kid I sort of knew basically dove on me and started making out. I later found out that a ton of people saw this, and saw us go upstairs shortly after. We fooled around in the host's guest room ("fooling around" in the high school sense, ie, no sex) and it was fine and fun and nobody's feelings were hurt. I'm 17 and single, I'm allowed to have some fun, right?

Evidently not. M found out about it and since the dude is in a band with her, she felt obligated to call him and read him the riot act. I am such a disgusting bitch that he should be ashamed he even talked to me, that sort of thing. And now I'm the talk of the all-boys' school, since there's endless speculation about what happened upstairs. So not only am I a disgusting bitch lesbian, but I'm also a two-bit whore. Also, the kid I hooked up with has shamefully low standards. We haven't spoken since.

I mean, what the fuck? This girl won. She has the right boyfriend and the right group of friends and people generally like her. Why does she have to keep fucking with me? And who is she to say who her friend (the boy) can and can't hook up with?


My two therapies are writing and music. I already got one out of the way, so here's my "Oh God I Am So Sick Of High School And My Reputation Is Ruined, FML. Also Most Of These Songs Are Rather Upbeat" playlist. (Artist - Song Title)

1. Shout Out Louds - Tonight I Have To Leave It
Oh no, you're not sorry. No you're not

2. Against Me! - Thrash Unreal
Yeah, we do what we do to get by, and then we need a release

3. Belle & Sebastian - Is It Wicked Not To Care?
Is it wicked not to care when you've wasted many hours talking endlessly to anyone that's there?

4. Blink-182 - Dammit
Did you hear? He fucked her.

5. Suburban Kids With Biblical Names - Shitty Weekend
I am trying to be mad as hell, but I end up getting drunk instead

6. Camera Obscura - Suspended From Class
I'm sorry about making a pass. It was subtle, but I think that you grasped the meaning intended.

7. The Strokes - Razorblade
Oh no, my feelings are more important than yours. Oh, drop dead. I don't care. I won't worry

8. Rilo Kiley - Salute MY Shorts! (no video for this one)
We've been waiting all year for someone to just say, "Everyone fucks up. It's going to be okay."

9. Say Anything - Signal The Rifleman
I'll make it out of this high school hellhole and fly away

10. Born Ruffians - I Need A Life
Those party habits are gone and dead. I'm turning in my old sinful ways for a dull new life

11. Vampire Weekend - Oxford Comma
Why would you lie about something dumb like that? Why would you lie about anything at all? First the window, then it's to the wall. Lil' Jon, he always tells the truth.

12. Love Spit Love - Am I Wrong?
I can't stay in this place. I can't stand when the room turns round on my face

13. The 88 - Battle Scar
The fun that you don't really need opens you up like books

14. The National - Guest Room
They'll find us here, here, here in the guest room (That one's pretty obvious actually)

15. Violent Femmes - Kiss Off
Behind my back I can see them stare. They'll hurt me bad, but I won't mind. They'll hurt me bad; they do it all the time (yeah yeah) They do it all the time.

16. Paul Simon - Kodachrome
When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school, it's a wonder I can think at all

17. Steve Burns - What I Do On Saturday
I'm just a boring example of everybody else. I'll never tell you what I do on Saturday

Fun fact: Steve Burns, the guy who wrote and performs that last song, is "Steve" of Blues Clues. He has an indie band now.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

On instant messenger, my friend and I were talking about that dude with two dicks. Then we were talking about how important it is to have a sense of serious as opposed to a sense of humor. This conversation followed:

Me: stop laughing. you have such a shitty sense of serious
Him: I am sorry.
Me: Thank you.
Him: That is a serious issue.
Me: It is. I don't appreciate you taking it so lightly.
Him: You should not use the word "don't." It is not serious enough.
Me: Fuck you.
I am so serious.
Him: I have strong hatred against you.
Me: You are a raging dickwad. I do not understand why we are friends.
Him: Go stuff a double-dick up your anus.
Me: I do not want your sloppy seconds.

That's probably only funny to the people involved, but I wanted to remember that it occurred.

Sunday, February 01, 2009